Offender : You

Date:July 1, 2001 Time: All the time everyday

Offense #0001 : sitting in front of your computer TOO LONG!
Details of Offense :

During our routine sweep of the Internet we, the Internet Police (The Wizzer and Chiqui), have discovered that you have been on your chair in front of the computer or Webtv TOO LONG! You are HEREBY ORDERED to clean up that pile of cups, cans, wrappers and papers on your desk (yes, we can see you - sit up straight!) and after you have logged into the real world for a minimum of twenty-five minutes you may log back on to the Internet. Failure to comply may result in loss of reality, carpal tunnel syndrome, and the requirement of a larger chair; not to mention of new eyeglasses. The timer starts NOW! Get off your butt; you'll thank us for it later.

get this gear!