THE NEW MILLENNIUM WHAT WILL IT BRING?
BY LARRY KUNTZMAN
Today, jAN. 1, 1900, is the first day of the new millennium and guess what? The world as we knew it did
not come to an end. How about that folks. I was kind of hoping to see a new world. The one we have is all
messed up from all the pollution and crap that other people have been dishing out all these years.
Speaking about all that crap. The indoor toilet was invented by John Crapper. Who invented the out house?
Was it Crapper John or Out Back Wily. Maybe he was out back with the willyies.
Willis invented the Jeep or was that by Williker? Wee Wily Winkle on the other hand. Don't you just love
the way that I left Sentences can be as long as life or as short as; "I." Friends can be life long while life is
short. We don't die only our bodies decay. We live on for eternity.
What does all this crap have to do with your money? Not a dam thing I guess. Computers handle all our
money and they handle the world. Will all the computers crap out in the year 2,000? Will they go bonkers?
I am going bonkers listening to all this crap. Whel wat the hell do you know? What the crap is going
on now? W345$ (^%%{456_=[]\,.<>?" 436894521395/.2358641=???????! {wHAT THE HELL
HAPPENED HERE?}
Seriously ALL the computer chips are programmed with the calendar January 1, 1930 through December
31, 1999. When you enter a date it wont be the same as before. Well I know that. You know that. I thought
computers were smart. They are not so smart are they? If we are so smart, why don't we program a chip with
the whole millennium of 2,000 in it.? Why didn't we program one ten years ago for 1900 through 5,000 or
whatever? Maybe the chip would be to big or our technology isn't up to snuff yet.
Either the computer companies saw the handwriting on the wall or they did not. It doesn't mater they have
us coming and going anyway. It's what is called a captive audience and we have no choice about it. They
can do anything and we just put up with it. At least my compuker hazent been affecteg yek. I thimk my
spelk chekker is working prokerly! ~thatks sellky isknt ek.>. Lets seek ifk my calkuator is workimg
2*3=99/3-%63*99/33=-000009. Thak looks gook to mek.
I went to the bank this morning and I had a balance of $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.92. I
decided to close out my account . I asked for gold and travelers cheks. They looked a little perturbed, but
the gave me the dough anyway. I told them that I didn't want dough because I wasn't planing on baking any
bread. Isaid just give me the bread instead. They asked me where I wanted them to put the money. I said in
the back of my pickup with my Raughtwhyller. Or is that spelled Wroughtwhyler or Rautwyler or? Oh hell ,
my big, bad, mean, nastey dog.
I just bought this neat new compuKter. I wear it on my wrist. It is voice activated and it has a
1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, Giga -Byte hard drive. wITH a .0000000000000001
Mega-Byte RAM. The internal clock speed 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Ghz. It has
quadraphonic sterrio and a 19" viewable LCD. coLOUR scrEEN. The only problem is where to put the
Printer. Did I mention that it also has a 5,000,000,000 GIG voice, text,video, graphics-fax modem. It also
has a built in cell-phone and a video camera. The whole thing weighs only .000000000000001grams.
