Crash Craft unveils new stealth speed boat for use by the Drug Cartell today. This new boat has all the modern convinces including indoor plumbing and toilets that really flush. Don't flush wile in dock. It has gas burning stoves instead of coal or wood. I really don't know why The Cartell need to cook anyway. Toilets are another story, when the DEA catches up to them it will scare the S_ _ T out of them anyway. The boat has all ultramodern state of the art electronics including Radar, Vascar, Lasers, NASCAR, Sonar and Pulsar. It has a real nifty sundial for telling the time of day. Make your own time at night. Navigation is done with Sextant and Compass and all calculations are done with an Abacus. It even comes with the most modern radio equipment operating on .000000000000000000000000000000015 hz. You ought to see the size of the antenna. It stretches halfway around the world. This boat is so fast. How fast is it? It will cover the distance from Cuba to Miami is 97 days. Wow! Hold on to your hats. The boat is 9,000,000,000 yards long and it weighs 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.999999 metric tons. You should have seen the scale they weighed that sucker on. It took two people to carry it to the ship yard.

More at eleven o'clock.